This coming week, when I head to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America National Conference, I know I’ll be stepping into an environment filled with some of the most dedicated youth-serving leaders in the country. There is always a lot to learn, a lot to celebrate, and a lot of ground to cover. But one of the things I have come to appreciate most over the years is what happens in between the sessions.
It happens when you sit next to someone new in a breakout room.
It happens when you grab lunch and end up talking with someone from across the country who is working through a challenge that feels surprisingly familiar.
It happens in hallway conversations, in line for coffee, and in those unplanned moments where two people realize they are carrying a similar burden and trying to build something meaningful for the youth and communities they serve.
That is where a lot of the real value lives.
For a long time, though, I had a hard time with the word “networking.” It always felt a little too forward to me, a little too transactional, and a little too close to forcing my way into conversations that should feel natural. I never wanted to be the person walking into a room asking, “Who here can help me?”
Then, at one of these national conference sessions years ago, a speaker asked a question that completely changed how I entered every room after that:
“Are you a networker, a connector, or a netweaver?”
That question stuck with me because it gave language to something I had been feeling for a long time. I did not want to network in the traditional sense. I wanted to help. I wanted to connect people thoughtfully. I wanted to leave relationships better than I found them. That is why I identify with being a netweaver.
And I think a lot of nonprofit leaders will, too.
Why “Networking” Often Feels Off for Nonprofit Leaders
Most nonprofit professionals are no strangers to building relationships, they’re comfortable with it. They are uncomfortable, however, with relationships that feel forced, extracted, or overly strategic.
That is an important difference.
Traditional networking often carries the feeling that everyone in the room is trying to move something forward for themselves. They are collecting cards, looking for opportunities, and scanning for utility. Even when people are polite, the energy can still feel transactional.
That posture does not sit naturally with a lot of mission-driven leaders because the work itself is built on service, trust, and long-term commitment. Most nonprofit leaders are not trying to “work the room.” They are trying to do meaningful work, lead well, and build relationships that actually matter.
That is why the idea of netweaving feels so different.
The Difference Between a Networker, a Connector, and a Netweaver
A networker often enters a room asking, even if only internally, “Who here can help me?” The focus is usually on access, opportunity, and visibility.
A connector is a step better. A connector enjoys building bridges between people and helping others meet someone they should know. In fact, we explored that idea years ago in our article, Are You an Effective Networker or a Connector?, because the connector mindset is far more relational and generous than traditional networking.
A netweaver, though, goes even deeper.
A netweaver enters a room asking, “How can I help?” The focus is not on collecting contacts or creating immediate opportunity for themselves. The focus is on serving, listening, making thoughtful introductions, sharing useful ideas, and creating value without expecting an instant return.
That shift matters.
A networker may leave with a stack of business cards.
A netweaver leaves with the beginning of real trust.
Why Netweaving Fits Nonprofit Leadership So Well
Nonprofit leaders are already in the business of relationship-building. They are building trust with donors, volunteers, families, board members, community partners, and staff. They are creating systems of support that only work when people believe in one another and move together over time.
That is why netweaving feels like such a natural fit.
It aligns with the heart of mission-driven leadership because it starts with generosity. It reflects the best parts of the work nonprofit leaders are already trying to do every day, which is to strengthen people, connect resources, and create more good than any one person could create alone.
For me, this has become even more meaningful because of the long relationship we have been privileged to have with the Boys & Girls Club movement. At Captivation Agency, we have been proud to support Boys & Girls Clubs of Sarasota and DeSoto Counties for more than two decades, and we have also had the opportunity to work closely with the Boys & Girls Clubs Florida Alliance. That ongoing relationship has taught me that the strongest opportunities rarely come from trying to impress people. They come from trying to serve them well, long before there is any clear payoff.
That same spirit was behind the incredible honor I received when I was named a 2019 Maytag Dependable Leader through Boys & Girls Clubs of America. I have never seen that recognition as a trophy. I have always seen it as a reminder of the kind of leader I want to keep becoming, which is someone people can count on, someone who shows up, and someone who tries to make the room better for others.
That is netweaving.
What Netweaving Looks Like at a National Conference
The good news is that netweaving is not complicated. It simply requires a different posture.
When you sit down next to someone at breakfast, lunch, or in a breakout session, the goal is not to figure out what they can do for you. The goal is to get genuinely curious about who they are, what they are seeing, and what they are carrying.
That can sound as simple as:
- What brought you to this session?
- What are you seeing in your Club right now?
- What is one challenge your team is trying to solve this year?
- What has been working especially well for you lately?
Those questions open the door to real conversation because they communicate that you are paying attention. They also give you a chance to listen for something more important than an opportunity. They help you listen for a need.
Sometimes that need may be practical. Someone may be looking for a vendor, a speaker, a strategic idea, or a model they can learn from. Other times the need is less tangible. They may simply need encouragement, perspective, or the reassurance that they are not the only leader trying to solve a hard problem.
A netweaver listens for both.
The Simplest Way to Practice Netweaving This Week
If you want a practical conference challenge, here is where I would start.
1. Make one thoughtful introduction each day
You do not need to connect everyone in the room. Just look for one meaningful opportunity each day to bring two people together who could genuinely help one another.
That kind of introduction is memorable because it is specific. It shows that you were listening closely enough to notice a fit.
2. Share one useful resource without being asked
If a conversation reminds you of an article, a video, a case study, a vendor, or an idea that could help, send it. Do not overthink it. Just follow through.
The value is not only in the resource itself. The value is in showing someone that you were present enough to remember what mattered to them.
3. Follow up with substance
The quickest way to make a new connection disappear is to send a vague follow-up message.
Instead of “Great meeting you,” send something with weight behind it.
Remind them what you talked about. Share the resource you mentioned. Make the introduction you promised. Mention the specific challenge they said they were facing. That kind of follow-up turns a chance meeting into the beginning of trust.
4. Think in terms of ripples, not transactions
The biggest mistake people make at conferences is expecting too much too quickly.
Netweaving is not about instant return. It is about relational momentum. Sometimes the conversation you have this week will not lead to anything obvious for months or years. That does not make it unimportant. In many cases, those are the relationships that end up mattering most.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
We are living in a time when a lot of communication feels fast, polished, and transactional. That is true online, and it is true in person too. Because of that, people notice generosity more than they used to. They notice presence. They notice when someone takes an actual interest in them without trying to convert the moment into a pitch.
That is one reason netweaving stands out.
It feels human.
It lowers the pressure in the room because you are no longer trying to perform. You are simply trying to pay attention, add value, and leave people a little better connected than they were before.
That is also why netweaving tends to create stronger long-term outcomes than traditional networking. Over time, people remember the leaders who helped them, encouraged them, introduced them thoughtfully, and followed through. They remember the people who were clearly for them.
And in nonprofit work, that kind of reputation matters.
A Better Question to Carry Into Charlotte
A lot of people go into conferences asking questions like:
- Who should I meet?
- How do I make the most of this trip?
- What opportunities can come from this week?
Those are understandable questions, but I do not think they are the best ones.
A better question is this:
“Who can I encourage, connect, or help while I am here?”
That question changes your posture.
It changes your presence.
It changes the way people experience you.
And in many cases, it changes what comes back to you over time.
Because the people who create the most value in a room are often the ones others remember long after the room is gone.
The Invitation
If you are heading to Charlotte, or to any conference where you will find yourself among other nonprofit leaders trying to do meaningful work, I would encourage you to leave the old idea of networking behind.
You do not need to force conversations.
You do not need to sell yourself.
You do not need to walk in asking what the room can do for you.
Instead, walk in like a netweaver.
Listen closely. Share generously. Make one thoughtful introduction. Follow up like you meant it.
That is how relationships begin to matter. That is how trust starts to build.
And that is often how the most meaningful opportunities find their way back to you.
If your organization is trying to build stronger relationships, tell clearer stories, and create more breathing room for strategic leadership, schedule your Strategic Consultation.
